Do you ever feel like you’re not enough, Reader? I mean, I think you’re freaking awesome, so I hope the answer to that question is a big, fat, resounding “lol no”.
But if, like me, you get a bit quivery behind the knees when it comes to putting yourself out there, or asking someone A Big Question (like, “please can I have my extremely well-deserved payrise?” or “will you marry me?”), or even just trying something new, a certain kind of creature comes calling...
In my living room, I have the most glorious armchair.
Inherited from my maternal grandparents, this chair is so big, when I tuck myself all the way back, my legs stick out the front like a little child’s.
The armchair is really more of a throne, and I’ve covered it in a white durry rug (also inherited from my granny), some cushions snaffled at a little Corsican boutique, and I have a sheepskin rug over the footstool in front of it. It is the epitome of comfort. I defy you not to sit in it and go:
“Ooooh. That’s nice.”
And I will smile smugly at you and agree.
When I sit in that armchair, Reader, let me tell you - I could conquer the world. I am on the throne of kings and queens and I could decree all sorts of things. Cinnamon roll Tuesdays. Spicy margarita Fridays. Self-belief and charging your worth every dang day of the week-days!!
At the very least, I dream in that armchair! I daydream of speaking gigs to sold-out audiences, book tours, finally looking pretty in photographs and not like I’ve sneezed mid-snap.
I think about all my grand plans for Olim, hype myself up just thinking about what comes next, and let my imagination run wild.
But mostly, I fall asleep (hey, you get a puppy and work from home full time and tell me how tired you are!).
And that’s when the armchair demons get you. Not in dreams or nightmares, but in self-recrimination.
When I wake up, or spend more than a nanosecond being comfortable, or “unproductive”, the armchair demons awaken.
They bring their sneakiest weapons. Self-doubt. Outrageously high standards. Anti-firmations™ (the make-you-feel-worse version of an affirmation).
They’re even armed with a thousand sing-song Pinterest quotes from the Christian Women’s Collective of white America:
“Don’t put your wishbone where your backbone should be!”
“Winners never quit and quitters never win!”
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take*!”
(*Seriously, who taught Mackayla and Chastity maths?!)
The armchair demons are sneaky because they sound so rational. They sound like they have your very best interests at heart. They grind you down with one “should” after another. They tell you it’s all for your own good. After all, if you’ve not achieved those goals by now, when will you ever?
The armchair demons interrupt your dreaming and planning to also suggest that you should have got your neverending to-do list done at least an hour ago, even though you have 46,288 things on there, and that unless you do actually get it done in the next five minutes, your life is worthless.
They set a standard you can’t reach, and then berate you for not building a 6-figure business yesterday, in chorus.
Well - mine certainly do.
Their paradox is that they simultaneously tell me that a) I won’t ever realise my dreams, and b) I must achieve those dreams in one sitting.
THIS IS INSANE!!! But it happens! I sit down to write a book, the 2nd 6th 17th attempt, and I am MAD at myself because I haven’t written all 50,000 words in one go!!
Armchair demons tell you that minute progress counts as failure, not forward momentum. If you don’t go from 0 - complete in 60 seconds, Reader, you won’t hear the end of it.
They'll wake you up at 2am, reminding you of everything you haven't done yet - like solve climate change, end world hunger, and learning how to wrap presents neatly.
And I don’t know about you but I am so bloody tired of our ‘all or nothing’ nonsense, so it’s time to bitchslap some demons back to hell where they belong.
Here’s how you do it. You need four words. An incantation, if you will. A rite of exorcism. Go get a piece of paper right now and a pen, if you need to - but I’m pretty sure this will stick in your brain.
Right. Good to go?
Small change adds up.
Small change adds up? Oh yes it does.
Say it to yourself. Say it out loud!
“Small change adds up.”
Full credit for this goes to Jon Acuff in his book, Soundtracks. It’s a cracking, compulsively readable, laugh-out-loud funny page-turner. And it addresses something we live with, but don’t have to.
It seems deceptively simple, doesn’t it? How can those four words slay a demon? How could they possibly combat this infernal force?
Well, quite simply, because these four words are the truth.
Say them when you feel like you haven’t made ‘enough’ progress. Say them when you get jealous of someone on social media. Say them when the launch fails. Say them when you don’t feel so hot in the gym. Say them when you achieve a 0.1 mile increase on your running distance. Say them for your own sanity, say them for the sake of your soul.
Say them because change is often quiet, secret, and incremental.
It can take decades of work to become an overnight success. We need to be reminded that the smallest action is still an action, still worthy.
Or, as I’ve heard it said: “You might be the slowest runner in the world, but you’re still lapping everyone on the couch.”
Say them to slay those demons, and then come and tell me all about it.
I’ll be in my armchair cheering you on.
Big love,
Eloise x
P.S. If you replied last week about an email masterclass, I'm excited to let you know that this is happening on the 25th of February (!), at 12noon GMT. You can register your interest for more info here!
